and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
