Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
