I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
