ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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