This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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