i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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