At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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