Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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