Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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