So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
