You made me cry and you don't even care
Swine flu. Run for my life!
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
