My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
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