You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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