Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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