I hate all girls vehemently.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
