Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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