My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
