he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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