1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize