The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
