How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
