i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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