i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
