remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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