Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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