The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
