I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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