It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
