I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
