The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize