you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
