On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
