I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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