seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just found puke in my bra..
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
you made out with another girl for some wings
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
