his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
