She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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