ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
