I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
