i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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