definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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