Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
