Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
