Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Randomize
