I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
