i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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