I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
