Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Quick, to the slutcave!
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
