I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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