Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize