I'm so fucking centered right now
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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