Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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