Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
