Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
