she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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