I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
