I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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