therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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