Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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