you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
