i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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