He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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