I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
