I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
wow bdsm is so cute
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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