in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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