we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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