You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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