I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
