wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
