College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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