If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
