I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
how does that bad decision feel?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
